


Best. Day. EVER.

by girl8of0many8fandoms



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Gen, and by that i mean my oc shipping sokeefe like crazy, minor sokeefe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:14:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27593948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl8of0many8fandoms/pseuds/girl8of0many8fandoms
Summary: crappy self-insert fic I wrote when I was younger (and by that i mean a year ago)Sophie, Fitz, and Keefe visit the Forbidden Cities because they heard there was a book series about them.
Relationships: Keefe Sencen & Fitz Vacker, Sophie Foster & Fitz Vacker, Sophie Foster & Keefe Sencen
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	1. The Problem

**Author's Note:**

> idk why you're reading this it's bad lol
> 
> Disclaimer: Shannon Messenger owns Sophie, Fitz, and Keefe. I only own the plot and Lila

[Sophie's POV]

"Councillor Bronte?" I had woken up to a call on my Imparter, during one of the only times I could actually sleep. I wondered what this call was about. Most likely it was the Neverseen again. Ugh those people really need to get out of my life. Bronte's face filled up the screen.

"Miss Foster, we received some troubling news from one of our Emissaries," Bronte started. "Apparently he had stumbled upon a human bookstore and found a book about your life." That got my attention. If there was a book about my life, then that meant that humans knew about elves. They could easily find our crystals and light leap to the Lost Cities. They could be coming right this minute! I jumped right up.

"What do you need me to do?" I asked nervously. This was a very serious matter. How the humans got their hands on this knowledge worried me. Was there a traitor in our midst? "Is someone going to wash the humans' memories?" 

Bronte rubbed his temples and sighed defeatedly. "There are too many humans who know. The very least we could do is send some spies to the Lost Cities to investigate more. Which is why we're sending you." He glanced at me. I couldn't breathe. There were too many flaws in this plan. I couldn't believe they even considered it. 

"Why? First of all, if it's a book about me, wouldn't they know who I looked like? And what if they get violent?" The last thing I needed was another near-death experience. I groaned. Would I ever be able to have a normal life, even by elvin standards?

Bronte sighed again. "Don't think we haven't considered this, Miss Foster. We're sending you so they let down their guard. Most likely, they'll recognize you. And we're going to send you to a child's house, so it's unlikely they'll be hostile. Another thing..." The Councillor looked uncertain at this. " We're going to send you with two other people." 

I sighed with relief. From the look on his face, I was worried it would be worse. "Who are you sending?" I hoped it would be Grady and Edaline. Or maybe Alden. 

Bronte sighed once more. "Against my better judgement," He muttered, "we're sending you with two other Foxfire students." Hmm, not adults. Interesting... God, the suspense was killing me. 

"WHO?" Yelling probably wasn't smart, but I was dying to know who I was going with. 

The pointy-eared Ancient glared at me. "I would have hoped you'd learn a little more respect, Miss Foster, but apparently I was wrong. We're sending you with Keefe Sencen and Fitz Vacker." He said quickly, like he wanted to get it over with. Ripping off the band-aid. 

I groaned. Why those two of all people? Of all the people in Foxfire... "Why?"

"Because Mr. Sencen can tell if the human lies with his Empath abilities, and Fitz is there because you're Cognates." Bronte said bitterly. I wondered why he was so upset. Unless...

"Did you read the book?" I asked, surprising him. He bit his lip, which was very unusual for the Ancient, and nodded. I let out my breath in one big whoosh, and nodded in understanding. "I guess I'll be going soon. Should I let the others know?" Bronte nodded again. I quickly said bye and ended the conversation. All this time I wondered where Grady and Edaline were. A loud snore answered my questions. I giggled, and scratched Iggy's ice blue belly. 

Soon I hailed Fitz and Keefe and told them the situation. They agreed to come along, with some unnecessary comments from Keefe about how much he wanted to read the book. I rolled my eyes. He was so annoying. And yet...I pushed that thought away. I needed to focus on the problem at hand. I left Grady and Edaline a note explaining what I was doing, grabbed a piece of mallowmelt, and as soon as I stepped out the door, a crystal appeared in front of me, along with a scroll. It explained that I would be leaping to Sacramento, California, the address 1234 Hades Way. I clutched the crystal and headed towards the LeapMaster 500 and spotted two figures coming toward me. Keefe and Fitz, right on time. 

"Hey Foster! 'Bout time we had another adventure!" Keefe shouted good-naturedly at me, but I winced anyway. Every time I went on an "adventure," my friends and/or I end up almost dying. He noticed my unease and grinned at me. "Come on! It'll be fun!" He assured me. 

Fitz rolled his eyes. "Shall we go now?" He said in his crisp accent. I nodded and grabbed his hand. Keefe draped his arms around my shoulders and I used the crystal to light leap away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: around 800


	2. In the Forbidden Cities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokeefitz go the house. yayyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cringe warning it's so cringy i'm sorry

[General POV]

Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz leaped to the specified address on the note, Sophie fidgeting very nervously. Keefe, being the annoying Empath he is, absolutely had to exploit it. 

"Foster," He whined, rumpling The Hair. "Loosen up! Your negative vibe is killing the mood!" Sophie glared at him. He grinned back. 

"As much fun it would be to watch you guys argue, I think we're at our stop." Fitz interrupted. "1234 Hades Street, right?"

Sophie looked up. In front of her was a medium-sized house with a shingled roof. There were two trees in the grassy front yard and a porch with a "Beware of Dogs" sign overlooking the entire front area. Oh, and a garage. Don't forget the garage. She committed all of the details to memory for the Washers so they have something to look for.

"Yep, this is it." she confirmed. "Let's get inside before we have to keep standing in this horrible air."

"How do humans live in such tiny houses?" Keefe asked incredulously. He was right. Elvin houses were huge, and that's without the enormous property usually surrounding it. Sophie shrugged in reply.

"I guess we have to knock?" Sophie suggested. She didn't see how anyone would open the door to a couple of hot, teenage strangers, but apparently they weren't strangers to the person opening the door. She walked up to the brown door and knocked hesitantly. Nothing happened. Sophie frowned. Had they not heard the knock? Then she remembered the doorbell that she used to play with in her old human house. It had made a delightful dinging noise, and Sophie loved pressing it over and over again. She had eventually outgrew the habit, but not before Amy had caught on. Sophie smiled sadly at the memory. She shook her head slightly and started looking for a doorbell. 

After a few minutes of Keefe questioning everything human ("What's that?" "A lamppost." "What's that?" "A car." "What's that?" "That's ME.") and Fitz rolling his eyes at every question, Sophie finally found the doorbell. It felt like they were standing on the porch for hours. Sophie sighed in relief and pressed the doorbell. A faint ding-dong could be heard coming from inside the house. 

"Wh-"

"I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU ASK ONE MORE QUESTION I WILL KICK YOU WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!" Sophie yelled in frustration. A human walking their dog looked at her strangely.

"Who's God?" Keefe asked, and immediately backed away. "Whoa, that's some pretty intense feelings you're sending me, Foster." 

Sophie restrained herself from screaming. Luckily, that's when someone decided to open the door. All three elves turned towards the human. She looked young, about 11 or 12 years old, with black hair and brown eyes. The human was wearing a Team Foster-Keefe is Cooler T-shirt and blue leggings. At this point, Sophie didn't even care about the shirt. "Oh, thank God you opened the door," Sophie said, unconsciously switching to English. The girl just stared in shock. "You probably already know who we are, but just in case, I'm Sophie Foster, and these two boys are Keefe Sencen and Fitz Vacker." The human girl had just seemed to notice the two boys behind her. Her eyes grew to the size of oranges, and it was at this point that things went wrong. 

[Lila's point of view (the human)]

I was so bored. Mom and Dad had left on a business trip to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and I was home alone. Well, home alone with my dog, Mallowmelt. I had naming rights when I was 9, and I was already into the Keeper of the Lost Cities series. I immediately picked up on the love triangle and became an avid Sokeefe shipper. They're just so CUTE!!!! Anyway, I was just idly rererererereading Keeper of the Lost Cities book 1 when the doorbell rang. Mallowmelt immediately started barking. I rolled my eyes and put him in his crate, and went to open the door. Now, I know this situation screams _Stranger danger!_ , but I was 13 and it was probably just some dumb delivery my mom always buys for her "decorating." My room was converted into storage space because of it. I opened the door and stopped. In. My. Tracks. 

On the porch wasn't some dumb delivery. It was Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz from Keeper of the Lost Cities! I glanced down at my clothes. My leggings weren't so bad, but the shirt I was wearing? It had Team Foster-Keefe is Cooler. Yikes. I looked back up. Sophie was talking to me. Sophie. Foster. Was. Talking. To. Me. WITH KEEFE SENCEN AND FITZ VACKER RIGHT BEHIND HER! I was seriously fangirling right then. That's when I experienced a...kotlc overload, shall we say. Basically, I fainted from all the awesomeness surrounding me. 

[General POV]

Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz watched as the girl's eyes rolled up her head and she fell forward. Sophie quickly rushed forward and caught her before she could hit her head on the hard wood. The blonde elf (Sophie, not Keefe) looked at her two companions. "Is anyone going to help me?" She asked. Both elves hurried to help her carry the human inside the house.

After laying the human on the couch, the three elves took a good look at their surroundings. The walls were painted with bright colors that put any elvin crystal to shame. There was a grand piano, an island in the kitchen, a dog crate, and a TV. Speaking of dogs, a small, caramel-colored dog came running out barking its head off at the three intruders. Keefe jumped so high his hair grazed the ceiling.

"What's that, Foster?" He yelled frantically. The dog growled at him menacingly. Sophie rolled her eyes, but she calmly beckoned to the adorable dog and started staring intensely at him. Keefe looked at her like she had grown three heads. "Are you ok?"

Sophie rolled her eyes again. "Mallowmelt's scared of you two. She's also worried about Lila." she told them.

Fitz cleared his throat. "Who's Lila? And why is that furry animal named after an elvin dessert?" he asked. Sophie shrugged.

"The most reasonable possibility is that the human (Lila) named the dog after reading about us." Sophie explained. During all this, Keefe had been scanning the house. 

"What's that?" he asked, pointing to a drawing of two blondes...kissing? Sophie's eyes widened. The little wisp of a thought that she had heard from Lila finally made sense. "That's one heck of a mood shift, Foster. I'm sensing..." Keefe's eyes widened, too, as the realization dawned on him.

Fitz looked irritated. _Am I missing anything?_ He transmitted into Sophie's head.

She jumped and looked at him apologetically. _It would seem to me that the two people in the picture are...me and Keefe._ Sophie cringed. 

Fitz's eyes narrowed as he transmitted back to her. _Are you absolutely sure?_

Sophie sighed and nodded as she laid out the facts. _The girl with the blonde hair is in a red tunic and cape, and her head is tilted just a little so you can see a part of her brown eyes. The boy's eyes are open, and he has the same ice blue eyes as Keefe. Plus, I heard one of Lila's thoughts before she fainted. She was literally thinking about "Sokeefe." And have I mentioned her shirt?_ Fitz glanced down to where Lila was snoring and seemed to just take notice of the Team Foster-Keefe is Cooler slogan. He sighed. 

"Don't think I haven't noticed you two telepathically flirting," Keefe interrupted, flashing a smirk. He stood there with his arms crossed, facing them. "Would you two kindly share why I'm feeling waves of embarrassment coming from Foster?" Sophie blushed.

Fitz sighed again. Luckily, Lila saved Fitz from answering by jolting up and screaming incoherently. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: around 1300


	3. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokeefitz meet Lila when she's conscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for caps

[Lila's POV]

I screamed, bolting up. Looking back, I realized that I was experiencing a KOTLC overload. Was that even possible? Anyway, I couldn't do anything except scream. Here's a sample of what I'm sure the three elves were hearing. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAHSOKEEFEFITZBIANALINHTAMNEVERSEENBLACKSWANALDEN!" I shouted, unable to clear my mind. Suddenly, I felt myself calming down as waves of relaxation came over me. I could feel myself panting as I realized how tired I was. I could only assume that Sophie had inflicted on me. I looked around. Keefe was walking warily in a circle around Mallowmelt (how the heck did she get out of her cage?) and Fitz and Sophie were hovering by my side. Oh. My. Word. I propped myself up on my elbows and smiled. "Hi," I said normally, as if I was just talking to my friends and not two of my favorite characters in my favorite book series.

[General POV]

Sophie winced at the human's shouting. Her thoughts bombarded Sophie with full force. Sophie took deep breaths and practiced shielding her thoughts, like Tiergan had taught her. Fitz did the same. Keefe, however, was shaking his head slightly to clear his head of the human emotions crowding in. A "hi" brought them all out of their reverie.

Sophie looked nervously at the other elves. She spoke first. "Hi," she replied, slowly. The human grinned. 

"I'm Lila, I'm such a huge fan of you guys! I have drawn so many pictures of you three, and Biana, and Dex, and Tam, and Linh! I can't believe you guys actually exist! It's like, am I dreaming?" Lila chattered, talking like Jensi on one of his more hyper days. She pinched herself and winced. "Ow. I guess I'm not dreaming! Yay, it's so cool that I'm actually meeting you! I've been dreaming of this day since the moment I closed Keeper of the Lost Cities. So, what would you like to know?"

The three elves were taken aback by the girl's talkative manner. "Um, Foster?" Keefe asked. "Any idea what she's saying?" Sophie smacked her forehead.

"Of course!" she realized. "We're talking in the Enlightened Language! She doesn't have a clue what we're saying." Fitz nodded in agreement, having come to the same conclusion. The human just looked at them. 

"I guess you'll have to translate for us, Sophie." Fitz told her. Sophie nodded. It wouldn't be too hard to let her Polyglot ability to take over. She turned back to Lila.

"Um...I guess I should ask you how you know who we are and who our friends are?" Sophie asked weakly. Lila put her chin on her fist, pretending to ponder the question.

"Well, I guess it all started when Shannon Messenger wrote down your life experiences," the human replied. She launched into a huge explanation of the Keeper of the Lost Cities series. "Shannon Messenger wrote eight books, and I've read every single one of them. I still. Need. More. KOTLC. Content." Lila complained. Sophie glanced back at Keefe and Fitz. 

"Need me to translate?" She asked them in the Enlightened Language. They both nodded, and Sophie transmitted Lila's monologue. Lila just looked at them. Again.

"Ooh, I have so many questions to ask you!" She squealed, and jumped up. Lila wobbled for a minute, the blood rushing to her head. "Whoa, hold on a sec," she warned, then regained her balance. "Ok! Keefe, you sit in the middle, Sophie you sit on his right, and Fitz, you can sit on his left."

Keefe shrugged and sat down on the couch when Sophie translated, Sophie on his right, and Fitz on his left, just like Lila had said. The seating arrangement did not go unnoticed, but if they spoke they would make her even crazier. Lila clapped her hands delightedly. "Hey, Foster," Keefe whispered. Sophie glanced at him. "Am I getting the emotion of awe from you or the human?" She looked at him incredulously. 

"Keefe, this is not the time for jokes! She knows all about my life!" She whispered back. Lila clapped her hands again to get their attention. Fitz glanced at Sophie. 

_Anything I should know about?_ he transmitted. Sophie shook her head no. The fangirl wagged her finger at them. 

"Don't go having Cognate telepathy conversations now." She warned. Then she grinned. "I can't believe you're actually here! This is going to be so fun!" Sophie hated having to burst her bubble, but they were on a mission.

"Actually, we need to ask you some questions. Could you...bring us a copy of that Keeper of the Lost Cities book you were talking about earlier?" She asked. Lila crossed her arms, smiling.

"Only if we can make a deal. You're probably here on official business, since...you're here. In exchange for any information I give you, I want to be able to ask you questions, too." Lila said pleasantly. Sophie translated for Keefe and Fitz out loud, and they both shrugged in response.

"I don't see any harm not to." Fitz said in his crisp accent. Sophie nodded wearily, recognizing a fangirl when she saw one. She agreed to Lila's demand. 

"The book?" Sophie asked. Lila shuddered.

"Jeez, that reminds me of this exiled fairy in another book series, Artemis Fowl. Anyway, I'll get it!" Lila rushed off to who knows where in that tiny human house, leaving three elves to sit quietly in a tiny living room. Well, mostly quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: around 1000


	4. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lila gives them the first kotlc book.

[General POV]

When Lila brought out the book, Sophie imagined it coming on white clouds with an angelic chorus of _Aaaaaah!_ The most they could get was barking.

"There you are, Mallowmelt!" Lila cooed, reaching down to scratch the Yorkie's chin, completely forgetting the book in her hand. "How did you get out of your cage?" Sophie cleared her throat. Lila straightened up. "Right, sorry. Here you go!"

Keefe snatched the book before Sophie could grab it. She groaned. "So, this book will tell me all of Foster's thoughts?" He wiggled his eyebrows, and Sophie threw the nearest thing she could grab at him, which was a throw pillow. Keefe dodged quickly. "Chill, Foster. 'S not like I'm gonna learn anything new. Empath, remember?" He gestured to himself, smirking. Fitz snorted, and Lila jumped up and down, wanting to understand what in Exile was going on. 

"If anything, _I_ won't be learning anything new, because I've been in Sophie's head tons of times. Cognates, remember?" Fitz mocked, gesturing to himself. Sophie buried her head in her hands. Reading that book would cause a lot of embarrassment, especially because of...her secret. Sophie needed to hide the identity of her mother. For Oralie's sake. Speaking of Oralie, she was meeting with her later to try and crack open her cache, so they really needed to get moving. Sophie lifted her head up.

"Uh, guys?" she asked, and Keefe and Fitz immediately stopped bickering. "Can we get a move on, please?" The two boys simultaneously slumped back on the couch. "Thank you. Keefe, the book?" Keefe handed her the book, smirking mischievously. 

Sophie flipped through the book, skimming it slightly. She stopped suddenly. This book knew everything about her. Almost every single thought in her head, every time she blushed or said something. _Every time she thought a boy was cute._ Alicorn poop. No wonder Keefe was smirking. He must have read some of the book. Sophie curled up into a ball, wanting to hide in a hole for the next thousand years. A hand shook her out of her depression.

"Sophie, do you mind if I read the book?" Fitz asked gently. He had definitely noticed the state she was in. Sophie shyly handed him the book, then went back to wallow in self-pity. Fitz flipped through the book like Sophie had done. He suddenly turned bright red. Yeah, Sophie hated her life. 

"MOONLARK!" All three elves jumped as the human shouted in the Enlightened Language. Their eyes widened.

"Y-you just spoke the Enlightened Language..." Sophie stuttered, shocked. How could a human do that? Lila smirked. 

"In the book that Fitz is currently holding, I found out that the word for moonlark in the Enlightened Language is _suldreen_. Honestly, anyone would know this if they paid close attention." Lila replied, grinning triumphantly. "So, anyway, find what you needed?" 

Sophie fidgeted. She had totally forgotten the reason they had come in the first place. She sighed. Wasn't she the greatest moonlark ever? _Well, time to get to business,_ she thought.


	5. The Interrogation Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finish the first book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all i completely forgot how cringy this was I'M SORRY
> 
> also my OC loves Keefe just throwing this out there

[General POV]

It took the three elves all of an hour to read the first KOTLC book, mostly because Fitz didn't have a photographic memory. In hindsight, Sophie probably should have just read the book and implanted the information into the other two elves' minds, but oh well. Hindsight is a dangerous thing.Sophie anxiously pulled out an eyelash. Despite all the embarrassing parts in KOTLC that made her want to go hide in a hole for the rest of her indefinite life, she somehow kept her cool. Lila bounced up and down, which snapped Sophie out of her reverie. 

"So, what'd you think?" she asked excitedly. It was like she had ADHD. Sophie giggled nervously. Fitz glanced at her worriedly and answered the human's question.

"I kinda liked that book, and it did clear up how Sophie and Keefe met in the first place," he said thoughtfully. Sophie blushed. There were so many times in the book where it was plain obvious that she liked him. Keefe stared at them. Fitz was oblivious and Sophie was too busy hiding behind her hair to notice. 

However, Lila did notice. "SOPHIE FOSTER HOW DARE YOU FORGET ABOUT THIS INNOCENT CINNAMON ROLL WHO GOES BY THE NAME OF KEEFE!" She shouted, scaring everyone and sending Mallowmelt into a frenzy. Sophie blushed again and translated Lila's question for Keefe in the Enlightened language. The human listened intently to see if she could pick up any Enlightened words, but it all sounded like gibberish to her. How sad. Keefe shrugged.

"It was okay," Keefe replied, forcing a smile. Even Sophie, in all her oblivious glory, could see that. She decided not to push it in front of the human.

"Well?" Lila asked impatiently. Sophie quickly translated Keefe's bland response, which was so unlike the joking elf. Lila frowned. She hadn't thought how much all those gag-worthy Fitzphie "moments" would hurt Keefe more than he's already been. The human smacked her forehead. "Any other questions?"

Sophie bit her lip. This question had been nagging her ever since the young human had opened the door. She absolutely HAD to know and the girl's safety depended on it. However, this could be a touchy subject, but the sake of Lila depended on it. Little did she know that Keefe was wondering the same question, because he wanted to compare the human version on a scale of Alden to Cassius. Right now, they were leaning towards Cassius. So the two elves asked the exact same question, at the exact same time, in two different languages. 

"Where are your parents?"


	6. My Parents Suck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokeefitz unlock Lila's backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thIS IS SO CRINGY I COMPLETELY FORGOT I HATE IT

Lila blinked twice in surprise. 

"M-my parents?" she stuttered. 

Sophie and Keefe glanced at each other, while Fitz looked on in confusion. The human bit her lip in hesitation. She wasn't expecting this question. 

"They're off on a business trip in Milwaukee, Mom and Dad won't be home for a while," Lila laughed nervously. "I'm home alone a lot. My parents are always busy on their travels all around the world." 

To be honest, she didn't know her parents that well. They were always so occupied by their business, trying to get enough money to scrape by. Not that they needed to, the Acobs were well off. 

Sophie nodded in understanding and translated her answer for Keefe. His eyebrows drew down as he heard Lila's answer. Her parents weren't as bad as Cassius, but they weren't exactly loving. 

"And you're ok with this?" Keefe asked. 

She only looked at him in confusion. Sophie quickly translated his question. Lila's eyes widened, and she shrugged.

"I'm fine, really. But also...not one but TWO of my FAVORITE BOOK CHARACTERS IS CONCERNED ABOUT ME?" Lila screeched. 

Sophie winced. The fangirl was back. Keefe glanced at the human suspiciously. As someone who used humor to cover up the pain, he knew when someone else was doing it. He and Lila would have a talk later (and Foster could tag along, since they needed a translator.) 

Lila chattered on and on about Keeper of the Lost Cities while Fitz transmitted to Sophie. _What was that about?_

Sophie jumped slightly, and transmitted back. _We were just worried, I guess. It's not safe for so young a human to be home alone this often._

Fitz nodded in understanding, and flashed one of his movie-star smiles. _I'm sure she's fine. If you could've handled seven years of human thoughts, she can stay home alone for a couple of days._

Sophie blushed in response. They hadn't noticed that Lila had stopped talking and stared at them. The human walked up to Keefe and hugged him, glaring at Fitz the whole time. Keefe was VERY surprised, more so by the feelings of anger rolling off the human than by the hug. 

"Um, Foster? What's she doing?" 

Sophie turned to Keefe, also surprised by the fact that Lila was hugging Keefe. 

"I have no idea..." she said, and then switched to English. "Lila? What are you doing?" 

Lily stared defiantly at her. "Keefe needed a hug, so I gave him one." The moonlark was surprised by her answer, but translated it nonetheless. 

Keefe laughed uneasily at her answer. "I didn't need a hug, what's she talking about?" 

To tell the truth, he very much needed a hug after reading the times Sophie blushed from Fitz or the times her heart fluttered in the book. Sophie shrugged, and translated his response for Lila, who had let go of Keefe. 

The human replied stubbornly, "He very much needed a hug." 


	7. Interrogation Wrap-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie reads a fanfiction and all hell breaks loose
> 
> nah not really lol this is just v stupid

[No one's POV]

After that awkward moment in which Lila hugged Keefe, Sophie tentatively asked, "Are there any other books about my life?" 

Lila grinned mischievously. 

"Not only are there seven more books AND a half-book on the way, but people have written fanfictions, made memes, and had ship wars!" Lila said excitedly. "The KOTLC fandom is awesome!" 

Sophie shrunk in her seat. Fanfictions? Memes? SHIPS? Did people really do all that because of her LIFE? 

"Let me get some fanfics for you guys to read!" Lila rushed out of the room to get something, presumably a computer or laptop. Keefe had absolutely no idea what was going on, and for once, neither did Fitz. 

Sophie quickly covered the terms "fanfiction," "meme," and "ship" in the time it took Lila to come back. "Fanfictions are mini stories based off of books, memes are funny things humans come up with, based off of book characters' personalities, and ships are romantic pairings," Sophie said quickly, blushing at the definition of ships. 

Lila barreled back into the living room, a laptop tucked under her arm. She sat cross-legged on the ground in front of the three elves and opened it, humming slightly while tapping keys. Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz sat awkwardly on the comfortable couch. Keefe had absolutely no idea what the contraption the human was using was, but for once he kept his questions to himself. 

"Aha!" Lila muttered, seemingly finding what she was looking for. She swiveled the computer around, and the three elves saw what Lila was so eager to show them. It was a fanfiction, titled "Heart Vs. Head." "This is one of my favorite fanfictions of all time, and you'll see why if you read it." The human explained. Since Sophie was the only person who could read the fanfic, she got to reading. 

The blurb read, "Sophie Foster has finally defeated the Neverseen, along with her many friends and Team Valiant. After years of war, 18-year-old Sophie was finally at peace, until a long-forgotten love triangle is reawakened. Sophie is not as oblivious as before, and she must make her choice. Will Team Foster-Keefe prevail? Or will Fitzphie be the winner?" Sophie, being the oblivious girl she is now, thought nothing of this, and kept reading. 

[Time Skip to after Sophie finishes the fanfic]  
  


"Ugghhhhhhhhhhhh," Sophie groaned, collapsing on the ground next to Lila with the computer on her stomach. "What did I even read?" 

Lila beamed. "That, my dear Sophie, was a Sokeefe fanfiction. You needed a wake-up call," she explained. The elf on the floor raised her head slightly to stare at Lila.

"What would I wake up from, exactly?" Sophie asked confusedly. Lila tapped her on the head. 

"Your extreme obliviousness, of course!" She chirped. "You need to realize that there's an actual love triangle in your life, and that you're a part of it!"

"I don't wanna be a part of it!" Sophie whined. "I just broke up with Fitz, and I'm only friends with Keefe." Lila cackled.

"Just...friends...oh, don't make me laugh." She said, clutching her stomach and rolling on the floor. Fitz cleared his throat. 

"I'm sure they are just friends, like Sophie said," he interrupted, causing Lila and Sophie to look at him. "I can understand English too, remember?" Lila pursed her lips, making it look like she had just eaten a lemon. 

"Right. Sophie, could you please implant the information of this fanfic into Fitz's and Keefe's heads?" Lila asked. Sophie's eyes widened, and she scooted backwards. 

"Noooooooo. There is no way in Exile I am telling Keefe what was in that fanfic. He'll crack some jokes that I just don't want to hear." She complained, earning an eye roll from Fitz. 

"See? Just friends." Fitz said, crossing his arms. Lila snorted, causing everyone to glance at her.

"Sorry, couldn't help it. If you had read what I'd read, you'd be very, very worried." Lila stated confidently. Keefe lost it then and there.

"WHAT in the name of E.L. FUDGE is going on?" He screamed in the Enlightened Language.


	8. Pause Between Interrogations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Lila's on her period which causes her to have sudden mood swings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HATE this sm

_Previously on Best. Day. EVER._

_"WHAT in the name of E.L. FUDGE is going on?" He screamed in the Enlightened Language._

The other occupants of the room jumped, and Lila started crying and ran out of the room. Sophie and Fitz glared at Keefe. He cringed, and shrank under their harsh gazes. 

"I don't know what I did!" He said defensively. "I wanted to know what was going on, and she doesn't understand me anyway!" 

Fitz and Sophie continued to glare at him.

He dragged a hand down his face.Just then, Lila came running back with a half-eaten chocolate bar in hand. "Sorry about that," she said, as if she hadn't run out of the living room crying a few minutes ago. The three elves in the room glanced at her strangely. "Should I...explain myself?"

"Yeah, probably." Sophie replied, although she already had a hunch about what was going on. The human fidgeted nervously and took another bite of the chocolate bar. Keefe looked on enviously.

"Well..." She said, drawing out the word. "Female humans go through a menstruation cycle, otherwise known as a period. It's when our uterus prepares our body to...hold a baby, but since we don't have a baby, it yeets everything it prepared out of our body. There's a lot of side effects of our period, like cravings-" Lila held out her chocolate bar. "-and sudden mood swings. Like how I ran out crying. Nothing against you, Keefe." She dropped her arms. "Did that clear everything up?" 

Sophie stifled a snort while Fitz asked a tentative question. "What does 'yeet' mean?" Lila snickered.

"'Yeet' is sort of like throwing something, so if I throw something like-" She picked up Mallowmelt. "-my dog here, I'd be yeeting her at you. I wouldn't actually throw her, though."

Fitz nodded in understanding, while Keefe put his head in his arms. 

"Can someone PLEASE tell me what's going on?" He said exasperatedly. Sophie smacked her forehead and transmitted the information. After learning about "yeet," Keefe grinned and started planning ways he could prank people by yeeting stuff at them. 

"Welp!" Lila suddenly stuffed the rest of the chocolate bar in her mouth and clapped her hands. "It's time for my interrogations! Unless you guys have any more questions. . ."

Sophie wished she could think of another question, but sadly, she couldn't. After quickly transmitting to the other two elves, she found that they didn't have any questions either, although Keefe was definitely wondering. 

"Nope, guess that's it." She really felt like there were some important questions she should ask, but they were just out of her grasp. The Council should have provided her with some necessary things to know. Oh, well. If it was really important they'd just send her back, or to another human. 

Lila squealed, and the three elves mentally prepared themselves for the storm of questions from the crazed fangirl.


	9. Keefie's Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lila interrogates Keefe

The storm of questions the trio were expecting did not come. Lila had been staring at them for the last few minutes. A few more minutes trickled past, and they started getting uncomfortable. Finally, after what seemed like hours but were only minutes, Lila got up and clasped her hands in front of her.

"It's time for your individual interrogations," she announced in a businesslike manner. "Keefe, you're up."

Sophie and Fitz exchanged looks, then both looked at Keefe. "What?" he asked.

Sophie raised her hand. "Keefe doesn't speak English." she explained.

"Oh, I know."

". . .What are you gonna do, then?"

"I'm gonna ask you to implant the English language into his head. Unless-" Lila's eyes grew big. "-you implant the Enlightened Language into my head!" The human dropped to her knees and started begging. "Please, please, please will you implant the Enlightened Language in me?

Lila reminded Sophie of a cute dog, and her puppy eyes were definitely helping. She hated to let her down.

"I'm pretty sure that's not possible, Lila," Sophie said. "It's not like Spanish or Italian. I don't even know what I'm saying in the Enlightened Language."

Lila pouted, and the three elves had no idea what to do. But then Lila brightened up, and she said, "We still have interrogations. Sophie, could you please pretty please implant English into Keefe's head?" Her mood swings were so confusing.

Sophie shrugged, reaching for Keefe's head. She placed her hands on each side of his head, ignoring his flinch, and closed her eyes. Sophie pushed every single English word she knew into Keefe's head. He shuddered, overwhelmed by the rush of words. His photographic memory sorted it out, though. Lila grabbed his arm and ran towards her bedroom, dragging him. He sent one last, desperate glance to the other two elves, who shrugged in reply.

"I GIVE YOU NO PERMISSION TO SNOOP INSIDE MY HEAD. THIS INTERROGATION IS STRICTLY BETWEEN ME AND KEEFE." Lila shouted behind her. Out of the corner of her eye, Sophie saw Fitz pouting, although she would have never thought of sneaking into Lila's head before she mentioned it. It wouldn't be too hard, though. . .all Sophie would have to do is let down her shielding and - she shut that thought down. The girl had warned them not to. She resigned herself to telling Fitz to listen to Lila, before sitting awkwardly in silence.

~Meanwhile~

Once Lila and Keefe had reached her bedroom, she slammed the door behind her. "There, now they definitely won't snoop on us." 

Keefe looked around at the tiny room. The compactness of humans never failed to amaze him, and he couldn't begin to believe that this single room was the human's sleeping space. Considering how it was bursting at the seams with boxes and other. . . what was the word for it? Decorations! Considering how it bursting at the seams with boxes and other decorations, it was surprising Lila even had space. She caught him glancing at her mom's rolled-up shag carpet, and rolled her eyes. 

"That's one of my mom's 'decorations.' It went out-of-style years ago, and she decided to stick it in here without even ASKING for my permission." 

Keefe lowered himself onto the bed, keeping his eyes on Lila. This would be the ideal time to talk to her about her parents, but a) he was new to the English language and b) that might be a touchy subject. Plus, or c) he was still sifting through the rules that come with the English language. Foster didn't mess around when it came to implanting, didn't she? Keefe smiled softly. Humans were so funny. Lila clapped her hands and pulled up a revolting-looking chair.

"So," she began. Keefe opened his mouth, preparing himself for speaking human.

"Sooooooo," he said, drawing the word out, getting a feel of the English language. It was strange, he had to contort his mouth and move his tongue to get the sound to come out. At least with the Enlightened language, he didn't have to think. Keefe rubbed his throat in thought.

"That. . .is not how I would've expected you to sound like."

"What did you expect me to sound like?" Keefe mouthed the words, flicking his tongue with each one. English was so. . .he didn't know how to finish that sentence. All he knew were that humans and elves were different in so. Many. Ways.

Lila, oblivious to Keefe's internal crisis, started to speak again. "The book says your voice is deep, but that's all Shannon told us. Then we have a description of how you radiated an aura of cool-ness when Sophie first met you, but. . ." She paused, thinking for a sec. "We don't have anything to base your voices off of. Your voice was my voice, and Fitz's voice, and Sophie's voice, and everyone else's. It's. . .nice to hear you guys for the first time."

Keefe blinked. Despite very dramatically showing his disdain for reading (if they JUST made the coursework more fun), that didn't mean he hated it. Only the boring ones, which came from Foxfire. But fiction was much, much more interesting. He once read a book about an elf who was banished from the Lost Cities and went to live in the Forbidden Cities. There, he fell in love with an elf, and they had little hybrid human-elf babies. It was one of his favorite books, but he never thought about the little voice in his head that was reading the book to him. Come to think of it, who was saying these thoughts in his head right now? What does the voice sound like? Could it be pinpointed to any one person? Keefe rubbed his temples. This was getting too confusing.

Lila stared at him. He hadn't realized she was saying something. "Sorry, could you repeat that?" She smiled, her eyes alight with mischief.

"What happened in the Great Gulon Incident?" She asked, tilting her chair over. It had taken YEARS for the KotLC fandom to know, and now only Lila would find out. Oh, well. Keefe grinned.

"I had nothing to do with that," he reminded her. Keefe liked having a common topic, but he kinda expected Lila to know already, what with the author (What was her name? Shannon Messenger?) being so knowledgeable about all their lives.

The corners of Lila's mouth twitched. "Oh, you definitely had something to do with it. It's so freaking obvious."

"Fine. I'll tell you." He leaned forward conspiratorially. "The Great Gulon Incident was-"

Cue the interruption. Of COURSE there was an interruption. There was ALWAYS an interruption and Lila was getting tired of it. This time, the interruption was a knock on the door. "Hurry up, we've been here long enough." Fitz yelled.

Lila groaned, and yelled back, "FINE!" She turned back to Keefe. "I don't have much time, so: how's Ro doing, do you see Elwin as a father figure, do you believe in the heart vs head theory and why, are you ok, and what does elvin food taste like to you?" Shannon had compared elvin food to human food to give the readers something to base the taste off of, which helped the readers.

Humans sure could talk fast. Keefe shut his eyes for a few seconds, then responded at approximately the same speed. "Romhilda's fine, I don't know? Maybe, I guess, Yes, I do, I don't want to talk about it, yeah, of course I am, and elvin food is really, really good." He looked back at Lila. "Did I get it right?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you ABSOLUTELY sure you're ok?"

"Of course." Keefe was surprised by Lila's concern for him. Of course he was fine, considering the fact that his dad was absolute rubbish, his mom worked for the very organization he was against, his crush had a crush on his best friend, and his father figure who was also his best friend's father figure told him to back off. On top of that, he had to ACT like everything was fine. Of course he was ok. Why wouldn't he be ok?

"Sureeeeee you are." Lila was ready to keep pushing, but she wasn't that insensitive.

Lila got up and prepared to leave, but Keefe wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her back down. She looked at him, surprised, while he flinched at the onslaught of emotions. Too bad his Empathy mentor forgot to teach him about shielding emotions from physical contact with humans. They probably didn't expect him to actually HAVE physical contact with humans. Oh, well.

"Wait," he said, deciding that now was the time to ask Lila about her parents.

"Are you sure you're fine staying home alone?" He cringed as soon as the question left his mouth. That. . .definitely wasn't the best question to ask if he wanted to both know if Lila was fine living with her awful parents. He knew firsthand what it was like to live with horrible people and have no one care.

"Of course I am. This isn't my first rodeo." Seeing Keefe's confusion, she rushed through explaining what it meant. "Huh, I would've thought Sophie would've implanted figurative language in your head."

"Yeah, me too."

"Well, it looks like we're done here, so it's time for you to go." This time, Lila darted away before Keefe could grab her again. He sighed, getting up to follow her back to the living room. That would mean having to go back to Sophitz. At least in the cramped bedroom, he was too far away to feel Foster's emotions.


	10. Of Tumblr and Ships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lila shows the three elves Tumblr.

Lila trudged back into the living room, Keefe trailing behind her. Sophie and Fitz were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, not moving from Lila's placement.

"Are we done here?" Sophie asked. She was itching to get home, and it seemed she wasn't the only one. She missed the mansions, clean air, and lack of crazed fangirls. 

Said crazed fangirl held up one finger. "Not yet!" She grabbed the laptop that was lying on the floor and started typing, and a website with a familiar blue color popped up.

Sophie's eyes widened, fearing the website before her. "Tumblr."

"Yeah, actually. How'd you know?"

"I used to run a secret blog on there. I was only on that site for a few months; it was way too crazy for me. Besides, I got caught anyway. My family shared one computer and I never logged out." She explained. Despite her aversion to crazed fangirls, she was a tiny bit ashamed to admit she used to be one.

"Oh, that's so cool!" Lila exclaimed. She logged into her Tumblr account and pulled up her posts. "I have a Tumblr account and I use it to share my art, like that drawing over there." Lila pointed to that embarrassing picture of "sokeefe." "I also write the occasional fanfic." She seemed very pleased with herself. 

"That's. . .great." The faster the three elves wrapped this up, the faster they could get away from the cursed site.

Speaking of the three elves, Keefe and Fitz had no clue what Tumblr was. Sophie wished for it to stay that way. But nope, Lila turned the computer around and displayed Tumblr for all to see! Yay.

"So this is Tumblr, and there are many types of posts for many types of purposes! There's fandom posts, meme posts, text posts, gifs, and sh*tposts." Sophie immediately cringed at the swear word, while Lila had no qualms about swearing at 13. Her censoring a word while speaking was the only part that interested Keefe and Fitz.

Lila showed the three elves examples of said posts, and each one was crazier than the last. Turns out every book, tv show, movie, etc. had a fandom dedicated to it. In each fandom was memes, analyses, fanfics, ships, and fanart. Those were the main parts.

"The reason I'm telling you this is because I want to talk about one part, ships." Lila explained. Sophie groaned, causing Lila to snicker. "Yes, ships. You guys already know what they are, but I'd like to draw your attention to the KOTLC ships." Keefe perked up. This would make for some EPIC teasing material.

Lila started typing up dexiana in the Tumblr search bar. "Dexiana is the ship name for Dex and Biana. It's a very popular ship currently in a love triangle." Fitz narrowed his eyes, immediately making plans to confront Dex about this. Keefe snickered at the posts, and Sophie exhaled, relieved that the spotlight would not be on her. She knew she was definitely in a ship or two.

Lila barreled through Tamiana (Fitz was not happy), Detz (there is no homophobia in the Lost Cities and you can fight me on this), Lylie (indifference), Titz (CURSED), Kam (Keefe was not happy), Sophiana (indifference), Solinh (indifference), and Keefitz (both Keefe and Fitz were mad).

"Wow, you guys don't have fandoms in the Lost Cities and it shows." Lila noted. Needless to say, she was extremely disappointed in Sokeefitz's reactions. She did perk up at the thought of the next two ships. Lila rubbed her hands together and typed in one word. Sokeefe. 

Hundreds (or at least it seemed like it) of posts popped up. Sophie scrambled backwards, as if the laptop had burned her. Keefe and Fitz peered at the screen, puzzled. The very top posts were drawings of two blonds, one boy and one girl, coupled with brief descriptions. It was a lot like. . .

Sokeefe.

That's what the word meant. The two boys had suspected, of course, but neither wanted to acknowledge it. That was just what their already-strained friendship needed. Ships.

Goshdarnit Lila.

Speaking of Lila, she was scrolling through the Sokeefe posts, grinning like a maniac. It was still hard for her to believe that her favorite characters were real, let alone sitting in her living room. Just. . .wow! The gods have blessed her this day. Although, she would rather have them pay more attention to their children. That was a fandom for another time.

A loud barking awoke Lila from her inner (and outer) fangirling. Mallowmelt growled at Sophie, who was hiding near the doggy bed. Despite her attempts to soothe her, no amount of telepathy would change the fact that a giant was near her sleeping space.

Lila blinked. Truth be told, she had forgotten Sophie was there at all. She shooed her away from the doggy bed, and Mallowmelt trotted over and rested its adorable head down. Keefe and Fitz were staring hard anywhere other than the other two elves.

"O. . .kay so maybe showing you ships wasn't the best idea." Lila concluded, slamming the computer top down. She searched for something that would cut through the tension in the air. Gods, she was almost suffocating in it. Her original plans to show them Sophitz wouldn't exactly work. "Hey! Where are your bodyguards?"

"I slipped Ro some of her amoebas." Keefe said, staring at his hands as if they held all the secrets in the universe. However, you could still see the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. Sophie opened her mouth, as if to reprimand him, but one glance told her not to.

"And. . .what about you, Sophie?"

"Council ordered the meeting," she shrugged. "My bodyguards can't go against the Council."

"Fitz?" Lila asked, looking at the tEaL-eYeD elf. "How's Grizel doing?"

"She's great," he mumbled, copying Keefe. "Didn't mind me coming along."

Lila coughed. The awkwardness was killing her. "Anyway, if you HAVE to get back so soon, maybe now's the time to do it."

The three elves got up and moved to the door, Lila almost pushing them out. _Come on,_ she thought, _deal with your problems when I can read about it._

When Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz were standing on her doorstep, Lila yelled, "BYE!" and slammed the door in their faces.

"Well," Keefe stated. "that was nice."


	11. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokeefitz returns home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet this is the ending
> 
> anyway it's boring, blah blah blah, don't know why you came this far, but thanks for reading it anyway

_Previously on Best. Day. EVER._

_"Well," Keefe stated. "that was nice."_

Sophie tugged out an eyelash. Talking with a human was very stressful. Not to mention how nice she was, and how bad Sophie felt to have to wash her memories. She turned back to the small house one last time, committing every little detail to memory. Closing her eyes, Sophie also pictured Lila, making sure she remembered everything. Fitz and Keefe watched her do her job. 

The tension in the air was so thick you could cut through it with a goblin throwing star. No one spoke as Fitz fished out his pathfinder. When he was ready, everyone hesitated before linking arms and leaping home.

Once they got home, Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz stood around awkwardly. No one said anything for a hot second.

"Bye, I guess." Keefe shuffled his feet, before pulling out his home crystal and leaping away.

"ByeSophieI'llseeyouwhenIseeyou." Fitz blurted, backing away before he leaped away, too.

Sophie put her hands on her hips, surveying Havenfield. "Well," she started, not sure who she was talking to. "that was fun."

***

Sophie flopped onto her bed, exhausted. She mentally ran through a list of the things she was supposed to have finished. 

_Book? Read._

_Cache? Not really unlocked._

_Report? Given._

_Hotel? Trivago._

She cursed. Sophie hadn't thought of memes in awhile. She hadn't even remembered them until today, although she wasn't exactly complaining. Actually, she did complain a moment ago. Anyway, memes weren't as bad as she remembered. Sophie smiled, thinking of Vine as well. FrEsH aVaCaDo and Look at all those chickens and It is Wednesday my dudes and so many more. Sometimes she really missed human life. 

She missed seeing people with laugh lines, gray hair, and ancient voices. She missed seeing people of all colors, walking the streets. She missed seeing hijabs and burkas, rosaries and crosses, shrines and all that stuff she was never interested in. Do elves even have religion? She missed celebrating the holidays and not having a care in the world. She missed her books and TV shows and movies and iPhones. Absentmindedly, she wondered if there were any LGBTQ+ people in the Lost Cities. 

Elf life was very, very different than human life, and Sophie decided that she'll just suck it up and move on. She was happy here, anyway, right?

***

Lila opened up her Wattpad account and created a new story. She titled it "Love Triangle on my Doorstep" and started typing, her fingers flying all over the keyboard. Later, Lila would come across this story, thinking it was a good fanfiction, and re-title it as "Best. Day. EVER." But for now, she and her photographic memory had to get every detail of her meeting down. Can't have the Washers erase everything, can she?

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading!
> 
> Constructive criticism and validation is welcome!


End file.
